Chapter 1.4: I Don't Know About This

I find myself bored about 65% of the time, which isn't a big issue in the grand scheme of things. However, I'd rather be productive than unproductive. While it's nice to FINALLY have calm nerves and normal blood pressure, I fear that the gaps of time between projects could be unfairly used against me as it was at Manhattanville.

Maybe it isn't so. My seemingly empty days very well may be normal. The time of year could be a factor, or maybe I'm just so used to rushing through every single project, that by Connecticut College's standards, I now work too fast for my own good. I probably shouldn't worry about it for now.

A bigger issue, already in the process of being resolved, is the organization of photography and other electronic files. Of course, nothing is centralized or easily accessible because files are randomly scattered among the shared network server and people's computers. It's very frustrating to those of us who are new and have to ask someone just for a photo, versus looking ourselves.

Part of the reason why I was hired was for my expertise in organizing electronic files and photography, but I'm sensing some resistance to my suggestions; not because my methods are ineffective or illogical, but I think there is a matter of breaking old habits and forming new ones.

I can already see a problem forming with the photography situation. I'm already seen as the "staff photographer," because of my outside interest in photography, even though it is not a primary component of my job (as it was originally discussed). While I like taking pictures very much, my concern is that the photography requests will grow so many, that I won't be able to do the main core of my job.

The person who photographed a lot of things for the college was recently terminated, and I seem to be the next-in-line photographer by default. I normally don't have a problem photographing things that are for publication that I or other designers are working on, but that raises another issue in determining what should be shot professionally and what I can handle. I am not a pro by any means, and I shouldn't be expected to take professional shots on a whim, especially when the "just to have" or "for the web" lines are crossed.

What is also frustrating to me is what I'm asked to photograph is not what I normally do. I made it clear in my interview that, while my work is very amateur, my specialty is NOT event photography or big, elaborate photo shoots. Granted, I welcome the experience, however, I do not have professional equipment to use, which led to my first mistake of bringing in my own camera.

I'm sure by bringing it in, I've only worsened my situation, but you know what? I'm not doing that anymore. I should have learned from Manhattanville NOT to do that, but in my own defense, the office's camera is one of the worst cameras I've ever seen and it's not a professional camera by any means.

Most of the photography requests come from the web content editor, who has been getting on my Goddamn nerves lately. I'm going to digress for a second here, but I feel like she uses her unofficial title as the "Building Environmental Rep" to start trouble—specifically with me.

Minding my own business, as I usually do, this bitch comes over to me and gives me a lecture about how incandescent light bulbs burn a lot of energy and instead, I should open the blinds; never mind the fact that it gets dark around 5 o'fucking clock.

A couple of weeks later, she started with me about the scanner and printer being left on while not in use. Next, it was the intern's computer and most recently, my little space heater. For Christ's sake bitch, not only is it November, but some moron in the office had the air conditioner running full blast when it was like 35 degrees outside. Yet, who had to hear about lack of energy conservation? ME!

I might be from New York, but I do care about the earth and DO my part in protecting it, but Jesus Christ lady, get off my fucking balls, will you? What pisses me off is how she does not go to the other designer in the office and say anything to him--just me. Clearly this bitch doesn't know who I am yet.

The extents of my issues don’t go far past the potential issue with the photography situation and this loon getting on my nerves—so far. There are a few top/down management habits that need to be addressed and I will write about them later as well as my leftover psychological issues from Manfuckenville (...more to come).