Manhattanville parallel's ABC's "Lost"

If you haven't caught on, ABC's "Lost" tells a story about several plane crash victims who wash up on the shore of an unmapped, top secret island. They're presumed to be dead, but the story unfolds when the mythological and mysterious powers of the island cause a strange series of events. Bizarre coincidences, sightings and social connections bond the survivors and the island has ways of keeping them put.

Earlier this week, it occurred to me that Manhattanville College of Purchase, New York, my former employer whom I severed ties with in 2006, is parallel to the island. No matter where I go, something connects me back to it.

I thought it would be interesting, yet comical to compile a list of how I haven't been able to get away, even though it's been almost two years since I last worked there.

1. April, 2005 -- was vacationing in the Bahamas and resting in my hotel room when I saw a news report about the Manhattanville My Soldier program.

2. February, 2008 -- Attended a press viewing at a printer based in Rhode Island, who apparently had just printed Manhattanville's magazine.

3. I currently work at another college who adopted the camel as their mascot. A former Mville coworker's brother attended the ONLY other institution in the nation who shares the same mascot.

4. May, 2008 -- attended my brother's graduation (Mercy College). The former provost of Manhattanville is now Mercy College's provost.

5. Upon being hired for my new and current job, I discovered the same company that designed Manhattanville's website was designing theirs.

6. Summer 2007 -- was in the local mall shopping and ran into the president of the advertising agency who handled Manhattanville's ad buying.

7. Winter 2008 -- Manhattanville played current employer in men's hockey, even though I think they are both a part of different athletic conferences.

8. An admission counselor used to live in White Plains, my hometown, and knows one of Manhattanville's admission counselors.

So help her God...

I was so fuckin’ mad today when I found out one of my coworkers was going behind my back and badmouthing me to my boss. I got an e-mail from my boss this morning stating how I need to keep this woman in the loop. Apparently, she feels as if I’ve been “cutting her out of the loop” on purpose, but the fact of the matter is, she’s been cutting HERSELF out of the loop.

She doesn’t really like it when our “clients” talk to me directly without going through her first. Sometimes I have a quick question or comment to make where she doesn’t need to be “brought in the loop.”

Considering our work hours are 8:30am-5pm, this bitch has the nerve to stroll up into work at 9:30 – sometimes 10:30 – and wonder why she doesn’t know what the fuck is going on. I’m sorry, but if someone asks me for something at 9 and SHE’S NOT THERE, what the fuck am I supposed to do? How dare she go to my boss behind my back like that.

Furthermore, she’s not always at her desk for me to bring her into the loop and in other cases, she THINKS she’s been cut out when in fact nothing’s really transpired. Or, she doesn’t give me or anyone else a damn chance to fill her in.

Jesus fucking Christ; how passive aggressive can you be? Well, I’m not. I sent this bitch an e-mail once I found out she did this and told her ass that I wanted to discuss this issue with her IN PERSON… believe me, when I do, she will be told about herself straight up and I don’t givva fuck.

She hasn’t responded to my e-mail yet because she knows she’s in trouble with me and she’s such a giant pussy that she won’t confront the issue. Mind you, she’s got a mile-long record of bitching and moaning but doing nothing to resolve her issues.

I don’t know who the fuck she thinks she is, but if I catch her doing something like that again or worse yet, if she blows this issue off like nothing happened, so help her God, the Holy Ghost, Peter, Paul and the REST OF THE DISCIPLES!

Raise Up On Outta Here

A few weeks ago, the senior designer announced her resignation after 12 years of working for the College, which was pure music to my ears. Her departure will mark a new era of modern, consistent and unified publications across the board, depending on who they hire to fill the position of course.

I’m hoping that the powers that be will take this opportunity to redistribute the workload, regain control of the position and establish stronger priorities.

My boss will no longer be able to hide behind her precious designer and vice versa. When the shit hits the fan, people will clearly be able to see who’s been pulling the wool over their eyes. Hopefully, doors will open for me too.

I don’t know if I want to apply for the position – they don’t even know what they want to do with the position nor do they really know how to fill it for one thing and I definitely don’t want to do what SHE was doing, most of which was a big secret.

First and foremost, I would like my office mate to apply for the job. He was recently promoted to new position a few months ago (formerly a graphic designer), but he’s not really feeling the new title and I don’t blame him one bit. He’s a great designer who’s easy to work with and I wouldn’t mind having him in a senior position above me. In fact, I’d prefer it.

However, I’ll be damned if they fill that senior position with someone who can’t do a quarter of what I can do and still allow them to make a higher salary than me; especially since I’ve been designing for print, the web, providing photography and managing interns. I feel like I deserve a raise ANYWAY and this may be my time to ask.

I could also request for a promotion as I’ve gone far beyond my job description and surpassed expectations. In that case, I’d be perfectly happy if they hired someone at my level or below. If they decide to higher a senior-level person, they better damn well give me a raise; especially if I have to train someone who’s ABOVE me.

As of two weeks ago when the senior designer’s resignation was announced, no job posting has been released and I don’t know what the hell is taking so long. My guess is that the senior designer’s work load has been such a mystery beyond the obvious that they don’t really know WHAT the void will be.

I’ll tell you this right now: I will not stand to take on extra hours of work and stress against my will. I’ve been there once before and it ain’t happenin’ again and if these people try to bulldoze me, all hell will break lose and I don’t give a damn if I’m fired over it.

New Year Resolutions

1. STOP ALLOWING MYSELF TO BE WALKED OVER
The older I become, the more I fear and avoid confrontation. I rarely stick up for myself when I should and I don’t speak up when I know I’m not being treated fairly. Instead, I allow myself to be taken advantage of until things boil over, which can spoil my entire week. I know I deserve more respect and recognition than I receive and now it’s time I start demanding it. GOAL: Nip it in the bud.

2. BE COMFORTABLE WITH BEING A LEADER
I’ve recently found myself too comfortable with being a worker bee in the background, but in the long run, it’s not always to my benefit. I recognize that I want more out of life and the only way I can do that will be for me to arise as a young leader. I want to make effective decisions, be put in charge and be perfectly confident in my talents. I also want to become independent and break free from this rut of solitude.

3. APPRECIATE MYSELF
People make me uncomfortable, which negatively affects my speech, posture and body language. I want to be comfortable with myself enough where I don’t think twice about how I look, sound or act. Part of this will involve being comfortable with public speaking or addressing a group. Part of this includes being comfortable in my own skin – despite being a young, black man who doesn’t have MTV looks. The last component I want to concentrate on is recognizing my accomplishments: graduating from college, getting my own apartment and so on.

To mark the start of the New Year, I will keep these 3 resolutions with me at all times and remind myself of the person I want to become. Tomorrow is my first day back at work and it will truly be a test to me and my character.

Wish me luck; I have to go to bed!

She had it coming

I really had to let my boss have it today.

We have this project form that the department’s directors, who act as “project managers,” fill out before assigning the work. I use the term “project manager” loosely, because none of the directors really have any project or time management skills.

A majority of the work is generated by the advancement and alumni relations departments. The directors responsible for those communications rarely fill out the form properly. For example, sometimes there are intermediate deadlines or delivery dates scheduled for Saturdays or even holidays. Last I checked, I don’t work weekends or on holidays and the printers don’t either.

After the form is filled out, it goes to my boss. This is where the bigger problem happens. Even though there is another designer in my department, the bitch has a habit of blindly sending me every single new job. No discussion. No follow-up. Just “here, you do it.”

The bitch won’t review the form for errors or discrepancies, nor monitor my workload, nor track the completion of jobs despite me pleading with her to do so. She’s afraid of the other designer and that’s why I get assigned all the work. Today I had enough. I’ve been too nice and too accommodating and I’m not doing it any more. So, I wrote her a stern e-mail giving her a piece of my mind.

Of course, she didn’t respond, because she’s nothing but a big coward. Instead, she sends the other designer, my “supervisor,” in to diffuse the situation, who was nothing but condescending to me.

“Well, you’re the one creating the stress,” this bitch tells me. I’m the one creating the stress… So, because people can’t manage and they expect me to do everything, I’M THE ONE creating the stress?

I gave her a piece of my mind too with two projects I couldn’t get to. She pushed back, but I wasn’t having it.

I really hate people’s dismissive attitudes, but I now know where I stand with them.

And it’s going to be a new day starting on Monday.

Unbelievability

For the past four months, I’ve been working on this website for a very difficult client. A colleague’s husband was looking to have his website redesigned back in July. I should’ve known from the start when it became clear that I wasn’t going to have any say or input in what the outcome would be, DESPITE my expertise. The ONE TIME I decide NOT to put the terms of the job in writing, I get screwed over.

Websites of this size usually don’t take more than 12 hours, but this one is running on 17 and well past its welcome. This is because of the back and forth and lack of direction this guy is giving me. Every time we reached a breaking point, he changed his mind on a dime and wanted something else. In addition, he just “had” to have a Flash slideshow, which of course requires even MORE time.

In amidst of this project, he’d send me dismissive, fleeting e-mails with vague instructions and often insisted on meeting me with me, which of course equals MORE time. The hours just kept piling up and I started getting sick and tired of the back and forth. After a while, I just stopped caring because it’s ultimately money for me in the bank. Plus the client should be aware of the amount of changes he or she is requesting.

So, in an effort to be ethical and service-minded, I thought I’d let him know that the hours were racking up and he should consider wrapping up the project. Well, OF COURSE, he decides to play dumb and acts like he wasn’t aware that I charge hourly. He claims that I had agreed to a flat rate, which would be paid when he was satisfied with the finished product. According to him, had he known I charged hourly, he wouldn’t have made so changes.

Well if his mother fucking directions weren’t so careless and he knew what the fuck he wanted, there wouldn’t have been so much God damn back and forth.

I politely, but firmly corrected him by saying that I only charge hourly – which is true – and I would never have agreed to a flat rate. I learned THAT lesson a long time ago. I remember being right in front of him, telling him that ALL of my design services are based on an hourly rate, PERIOD. Apparently that didn’t sink in that thick head of his.

First of all, it makes no sense to charge the same flat fee for a website that requires three hours to build and one that requires 20 hours. IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!

So anyway, he wants to “conclude this business transaction,” which is fine with me. I think the site looks horrible due to his over involvement in the design and I’m sick of the project ANYWAY. I’m not going to argue with this one because quite frankly, he’s clearly an asshole, which is of no surprise since I kind of saw that from the beginning.

As unprofessional as it is for me to berate difficult clients and air my dirty laundry for the world to see, this is MY reality – the real world as it exists. It’s finally sinking in that it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there and I’m starting to accept the fact that I’m my own best friend and I can only rely on myself. I’m going to have to learn how to be a dick in order to survive.

It’s a harsh lesson to learn, but I need to be comfortable sticking up for myself and standing my ground as a young man who is not going to take any shit. I just need to make that change with in myself and I need to do it soon.

I’m going to start by offering this fool one of two options: pay me for the work I’ve done thus far and I’ll release the files, or we can both act like it never happened.

What a waste of fucking time.

Retreat

God, I really need to blog more often! Time has been flying by so quickly, that I lose track. Nothing really has changed since I last posted anyway, so it’s not like you’ve missed out on anything.

I’ve been trying to readjust my attitude as of two weeks ago. I’m surrounded by idiots and this is something that’s not going to change. I might as well accept it and stop caring.

I might have brought up the philosophy of ‘not caring’ before; letting things go or just going down with the ship, but it’s hard NOT to care because work, especially creative work, is a reflection of the person doing it.

On the other hand, where is the line? When does unnecessary bullshit and stress go beyond one’s paycheck or even their happiness?

Over the past month, I’ve been overcome with so confusion and frustration, I haven’t even been motivated. It’s been increasingly more and more difficult to get out of bed let alone care enough to come to work on time. People have been getting on my nerves relatively easily and I’m just not enjoying the day.

No job should be difficult. Challenging? Yes. Stressful sometimes? Sure, but difficult? No.

Last weekend, I decided that it’s nearing the time to look for another job. I really don’t want to have to uproot again, but I just cannot stay at this place if it’s going to always be like this and my patience is already running thin. That saddens me because I really like the area, I have made a few friends and I’m very comfortable in my apartment. What do I do?

Little by little, I’ll be updating my portfolios and my resume and preparing to get the hell out of there if things don’t shape up in the next couple of months.

Recently, my supervisor has been more and more concerned with my well-being as well as that of the department. Remember, my supervisor is not the director of the department (she doesn’t know what the fuck is going on). While my supervisor’s concerns are a nice gesture, they seem totally out of the blue because she couldn’t care less before. Where could all of this be coming from all of a sudden?

Well, a couple of weeks ago, I went to the VP’s office to ask her a question. When she opened the door, there was my boss and my supervisor looking like deer in front of headlights. It was literally the same day when my supervisor THEN began expressing her concerns about the department – a little bit too much of a coincidence if you ask me.

Whatever, I played along with it.
The VP later suggested that the designers go on a retreat to discuss workflow and how to make things run a bit smoother. We did that yesterday, and it was very productive and helped boost my morale significantly.

I opted to write a report on our recommendations, which will be shared with the VP and the director. Hopefully then, some things will be implemented to help alleviate the chaos.

All I really need is the unnecessary bullshit to drop off. I know there is bs in every work place. I know there are idiots, incompetent fools at every place of work, but it’s the unnecessary and excessive stupidity that makes it hard for me to do my job.

That’s where things stand now. I’ll post again next week.

Dumb-ass

It’s been over a month since I last posted and I can’t say anything has changed for the better. I finally was able to take my previously-scheduled vacation, after having postponed it three times because my fucking boss didn’t seem to be concerned about it.

When I returned refreshed, I came back to somewhat of a shit storm.

I knew that the middle of September was going to be rough for me. I had several admission projects coming up fast and all due on the same day, a couple other things I was working were taking longer than I had hoped and of course, you have the last-minute “should-have-gotten-it-yesterday” bullshit that throws EVERYTHING off.

Although it was tough, I managed to survive the incredible and ridiculous overload of work I had to do and I met all of my deadlines. I’m very happy with what I’ve completed and so are the “clients.” Now, I’m currently in a lull and while I hate being bored, I think I’m going to enjoy it while things are calm.

This week, I’ll be attending a designer’s conference in Toronto, so I’ll be out Friday and all the following week. I’m very excited about that.

I’m already dreading my return because I’m going through a period where I don’t want to stay at this job anymore and I may have a huge decision to make.

It’s getting to the point where I can’t stand the sight of my boss, I don’t have much respect for my supervisor and frankly, I’m not very motivated. My morale hasn’t bottomed out, but it’s increasingly becoming more and more difficult to go to work in the morning. My biggest gripes stem from my boss – and we all know the luck I’ve had:

1. She’s just a rude ass bitch. There are days she won’t speak to me at all, even if she sees me. There are days she’ll walk right into my office to speak with my officemate and completely ignore me. Out of common courteousy, how do you NOT acknowledge your own staff member?

2. She’s bad at what she does. Her writings are constantly full of spelling, punctual and grammatical errors, which often have to be rewritten by others. She has no eye for quality photography and thinks her corny, moronic catch phrases are clever. She’d rather get a cup of coffee than review and approve a rush job. And, she refuses to proofread. I guess the words “yeah, looks good” magically fixes any spelling mistakes?

3. Her skull is thicker than the Berlin wall. I find myself asking her 7 or 8 times for bits of information I need to do my fucking job. She refuses to keep a calendar of all the department’s deadlines so she can keep track of what’s going on. If I tell her I’m stressed and overloaded, she gives me more work to do. Let’s not forget how she refuses to police the verbal messaging of my projects -- I’m often the one to suggest typographic changes in case you’re wondering.

4. She’s a gigantic dipstick. Ask her a “yes or no” question, and you’ll get 15 minutes of “blah blah blah,” STILL with no answer. She won’t make a decision on anything and waffles at any chance she gets. Oh no, it’s not a matter of talking to fucking much, it’s a matter of needing a smack. Her eyes cross when she laughs and she mumbles half of her sentences. Is there a book I can buy called “Dumb Bitches for Dummies?”

5. She ain’t got her priorities straight. I know I’m the lowest on the totem poll, but she’ll use any chance she gets to throw me under the bus to save her own ass or that of my supervisor. My work and my well being doesn’t equal that of her own or the other designer’s – hence the runaround about my vacation.

She leaves at 5 during the busiest times and forwards e-mails to me with 16 conversations requesting that I forward it to someone else. Why can’t she do that? I’m not her fucking secretary!

6. She’s in her own fucking world. I don’t know what world that is, but it’s light-years away from earth.

Those are my gripes folks. Fix those, and I’d be a happy camper. Am I asking too much?