Weekend Update

Man, a lot of bizarre stuff has been happening this week. There was a mysterious explosion in North White Plains this week out of the blue. The investigators say it’s arson, but who would seriously want to blow up White Plains of all places? I mean, REALLY.

Not only that, my roommate finally got into a car accident. I managed to hack into his cell phone and record a sound sample of the accident. You can listen to it here.

Speaking of which, I’m surprised I haven’t gotten any celebrity phone calls. I know Joe Bermudez, who has remixed and produced Kelly Clarkson, Hilary Duff, and Christina Milian, but I guess those celebs weren’t hacked. Damn… Oh well!

Don't Work for a Woman

You are not going to believe this crock of shit I went through with this bitch TODAY. You ready?

I've said how stupid and incredibly incompetent my boss is before, but this shit here just takes the CAKE (and maybe even the Goddamn candles too!).

We send out an electronic newsletter monthly. It's always poorly planned and last minute. My boss takes her SWEET OLD TIME writing the damn thing, sends it to me at 3:59pm, and then expects me to spend the 2-3 hours it takes to send it out. IF I'm lucky, she'll be sympathetic and let me send it the following morning. Rarely though, does THAT happen...

First of all, these idiots did not consider the obstacles of what it takes to assume this kind of responsibility. Although I'm NOT getting into it here, I'm just gonna say that my department does not have the ideal technological or personal resources to send, let alone MAINTAIN a fucking electronic newsletter to 15,000+ alumni, staff, students and parents. But, we've been able to manage.

My boss' job is to write the newsletter and manage any respones that might include, changes of e-mail address, opt out requests, or anything else relating to HER POSITION. Colleen, our admin assistant at the time, and now our events coordinator, was in charge of updating the school's database as far as dead e-mails are concerned. My job is to send the damn thing out -- NOTHING MORE.

Well apparenlty, we sent our 11th newsletter two days ago to about 6,000 recipients, and to our horror, 4,000 of them BOUNCED BACK! Well, NOT exactly... As I did more research, there were hundreds of old bounce-backs and responses dating way back to December from past e-newsletters. Hmmm... how could this be?

(Stupid me for NOT catching this earlier...)

That fucking bitch HAD NOT been checking the responses, AS SHE SAID SHE WAS SUPPSOED TO DO. If she had an OUNCE of brain in her fuckings skull, those thousands of e-mails wouldn't have backed up AND we would've been able to troubleshoot the unsually high number of e-mail returns. The only solution, according to her, is to go through each one and handle them accordingly. Wait... GO THROUGH 4,000 FUCKING E-MAILS? HOLD ON BITCH-lets' THINK about this -- ah NO.

Typical of her floundering responses, her reaction: "Well who was supposed to be checking the inbox? Brandon, you should be doing this... or have someone in the office go through all of them. It's gotta get done. We have to figure out who is going to manage all this." Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute LADY; you are putting your lack of competence and poor management on SOMEONE ELSE'S shoulders? Somebody PLEASE tell me: where does this BITCH GET OFF?!

She fucks up, and NOW it's someone else's problem... How the fuck are you going to be the Director of Marketing and Communications and be so GODdamn STUPID? ... ... ... You let YOUR responsiblity slip, try to put it on me or someone else, don't remember who's job it was in the first place, and then act like it's not your fault? You have got to be KIDDING ME.

This is the kind of shit that this BITCH puts her staff through. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my career REALITY. "DON'T WORK FOR A WOMAN" That'll make a great title for a book!

Dead Trees Will Fall

I hate that fucking cunt with every fiber of my being. There is just something about her that I can no longer stand. I take one look at her face and the shape of it ALONE makes me CRINGE. In disgust I assume.

The bitch is not only a complete moron, but a conspiring old WITCH. Her lacking knowledge of computers boggles the mind. The bitch didn’t learn how to burn a CD until Wednesday and even so, she STILL doesn’t understand the concept. She thinks CDs are like floppy disks, where she can save and erase as she pleases.

She’s 45, has an Ipod, a cell phone, a blackberry, and a Palm Pilot. How she comes from a journalism background and knows nothing about the basics of computers beats the fuck out of me.

The bitch claims she comes to work at 10 and leaves at 6. The truth: she comes in at 10:20 and leaves at 4:30. Her classic “working from home” quote IS A CROCK. I DO HER WORK. She sits on her ass and sends e-mail. That’s her job.

CC this person and BCC that person.

Her unrealistic deadlines are imposed on me and I can never get anything done. Someone makes a mistake, she blames me. “That’s not good service, Brandon!” I want to drop a house on that bitch-right on HER HEAD.

If I hear about her fucking demon-baby son one more time, I will quit. I can’t stand that bitch. Her voice hurts my ears. I like it when she wastes money. Let’s pay a graphic designer $100 an hour, but let’s pay Brandon $14; HE does 5x as much work.

That trifling and egotistical bitch. She’ll turn on a dime. She is so bad at what she does… she thinks she knows everything there is to know about design, marketing, and managing. She doesn’t know SHIT. That is one evil and ugly BITCH. Ugly like the bark of a dead tree. That’s what she is… a dead fucking tree. A dead tree gets no love, no care, and no attention.

Eventually, all dead trees FALL.

2 Sides to Every Story

Well, I had a VERY INTERESTING conversation with my boss today! I can honestly say, although I don’t really trust her or believe what she says; it really helped to clarify some things. I am by no means taking sides by repeating what I heard, but if you’ve kept up on my past journal entries, you can draw your own conclusions.

According to her, the recently fired employee wasn’t exactly what he made himself out to be. The 700 phone calls he often claimed he made on a weekly basis NEVER happened. They know because my supervisor got his phone log, which confirmed they never were made.

The publicity “hits,” or generation of news in the media, he claimed “were his” weren’t ALWAYS his. In his weekly media reports to the president and my supervisor, he often exaggerated and stole credit for hits from other members in the department. Many claims of “hits in progress” or things he was “working on” were false. They never got done because there was NO outcome. Basically, to sum it all up, the work he was doing wasn’t being done, and when questioned about it, he became hostile.

Knowing he was being cornered, he cried racism and sexual harassment, because he knew he couldn’t be fired (by law) having filed a claim with the Human Resources department. She admitted to treating him differently than the rest of us (in the PR department) because she sensed his wrongdoing. Knowing they were on to him, he took her questioning as racism.

The thing that scares me is I feel like he honestly believes that what happened to him was racist. I personally have not seen or heard any racial or sexual discriminatory behavior. Is my place of work entirely in the right? No. Was the fired employee in the right? No.

Frankly, I don’t think he has a case nor does he have substantial evidence to found his claims. This is going to be interesting as it progreses.

You Can't Teach an Old Bitch NEW TRICKS

As I had expected, things at work have not taken a turn for the better. A new person was hired to fill the previous staff writer’s shoes since he quit a couple of weeks ago. As much as I want to tell her what she’s in for (and BOY is she in for a wild ride), I’m just going to have to let her find out on her own.

It’s a real shame because she’s very nice and energetic, but this place has a talent for chewing and spitting out its employees. I haven’t even been a year and I’ve seen it happen more times than I can count on one hand.

It’s only been her third day and she’s ALREADY starting to realize how much of, not only a non-sensical and selfish bitch, but a lackadaisical and ignorant cunt my (our) boss is. The lack of time managing and priority handling skills that woman has is unbelievable. You would think that the director of marketing and communications would have some sense of SENSE, but the bitch does not.

I, for one, am treated like her personal assistant when it is convenient for her. On top of my daily duties; updating the school’s master calendar, designing and printing promotional materials, collecting print bids and talking to print vendors, creating a weekly bulletin of events, updating parts the website, and the other odds and ends I have to take care of, which I’m already struggling to get done on a daily basis, she has a habit of putting frivolous and unimportant responsibilities on ME.

Most of the shit are things the director of marketing and communications should handle (ie. information research or business phone calls). Mind you, we DO have an admin assistant, yet she insists on having me fax stuff or run errands because she is too fucking lazy to do things her self and too stupid to utilize the admin assistant.

Case in point: Tuesday, she ordered me to find out who on campus is able to convert a cassette tape to a CD. The damn thing had nothing to do with me or my job and she spit out names of people who to ask, like I fucking KNEW who they were. She even said it herself: “I don’t want to sit here and transcribe it if I can have someone else do this for me.” Ok, understandable, but why have ME of all people take time out of my ALREADY CRUNCHED workday to take care of YOUR bullshit?

She does this to me every time; dumps a laundry list of responsibilities on me with tight deadlines, then puts her frivolous nonsense on top, and then has the nerve to micromanage and interrogate my procedures and progress like I’m not doing my job.

I REALLY REALLY don’t know where she gets off… and that’s just the tip of the iceberg!