The Bahamian Adventures

I just came back for a phenomenal trip to the Bahamas with my best friend, Tori, from Springfield. With 7 days of pure sunshine and 80+ degree weather, I could NOT ask for more. Manhattanville was driving me up the fucking wall and I just needed to get away. I quickly forgot that hellhole at the sight of the teal blue water and sandy beach.

Jackie and her boyfriend Sammy met up with us later that Sunday of our arrival, but Tori and I wasted no time and sat on the beach until check-in time at 4:00pm.

Across the street from our hotel was the party beach, where tons of spring breakers burnt themselves from spending hours under the sun. Various hair-braiding and alcoholic beverage vendors outlined the beach, with a DJ stage on the far end, blasting the same played-out hip hop tunes all week long.

Our hotel was slightly ghetto, but not bad for what it was worth. I can deal with a fucked up shower, but the poor location next to a busy street was a little aggravating, especially with the Bahamian bikers and their loud ass motorcycles. At least it was away from the packs of stray dogs that littered the streets late into the night.

The food was ridiculously expensive and disappointingly Americanized for my expectations. The Bahamian cuisine doesn’t have much variety: red snapper, grouper, conch, peas and rice, and on occasion, plantain are all of your options. Most nights, we went to places like Hard Rock and Sbarro (oddly enough). For your information, stay away from conch whenever possible, but definitely go for the daiquiris! Mmmmm mmm. I had my fair share of banana ones!

Three nights of clubbing brought on some great things. I finally got a chance to get my dance on (since nobody wants to do it around HERE) and I sure as hell TORE IT UP. Again, sick of the hip-hop scene, I managed to hear a few house mixes throughout the week so I was happy. “Shake that aaaaaaass bitch and let us see what’chu got!” is STILL stuck in my head.

One of our day trips included snorkeling at the privately owned Rose Island; a lot cleaner and quieter than our normal beach. Let me tell YOU, I am not a swimmer, but I had gone out at least 50 yards into the middle of the 15-foot-deep ocean. I had flippers and a floatie on, but the stamina you need to float and swim is ridiculous. Nonetheless, it was amazing to see the tropical fish no more than just inches swimming beneath me. The water there must have been just as warm as the air temperature.

Tori, Sammy, Jackie and I had gone parasailing a couple of days later. Well, at least Tori and Sammy went parasailing. Jackie and I were forced (against our first preferences) to go on a speed boat to get to a slightly larger boat that was conducting the parasailing. There was no way in hell I was going to be tethered to a boat and released into the air so I stayed aboard. It was fun to watch them at least and I’d never been on a speed boat before so it was definitely worth the experience.

The word on the street is true. Yes, two different gay Bahamian men hit on me two days in a row. One of them had the nerve to follow us back to our hotel after a night of clubbing -- THINKING he was gonna get some. Obviously people can’t get certain things thru their thick heads. You’ll have to ask Tori for the details ‘cuz quite frankly, I’d rather not think about it anymore.

I can’t even tell you how many people thought I was a native Bahamian. Several tried speaking Creole to me, and were surprised to find out that I didn’t know what the fuck they were talking about let alone that I’m from the States. Not only that, just about everyone thought that Tori and I were a couple, but that didn’t stop me from tapping some random guy on the dance floor and telling him to dance with her! Sorry folks! What happened in the Bahamas, STAYS in the Bahamas! I will say nothing more.

With my luck, I got sick on the second day. The conch fucked up my stomach, which lasted for about a day (thank God), and then I got a really bad sore throat that turned into a sinus infection, which then turned into a cough, and then a bloody nose on the plane ride back. I knew it was coming. I never have 100% good experiences with anything (something always goes wrong). Despite my illness, it didn’t ruin my vacation as each thing wasn’t severe.

Before we knew it, the vacation was over. It was a long week and neither one of us felt cheated or at a loss, so I can’t complain. The next day at Manhattanville is another ENTRY in ITSELF.

Go to http://photos.yahoo.com/chinatownchaos for photos.