WHAT is WRONG with people?!

You know, I really, really, try to be patient with her, but the shit my mother tries to pull is so grandiose and inconsiderate that it’s hard not to flip out. It’s even worse when she makes the same mistake not once, but 3 times.

Considering I share a bedroom with my brother, which is already tiny and cluttered as it is, WHY she decided to buy a new free-standing furniture closet is beyond me. Not only did she not tell me, she didn’t ask me, and she didn’t keep me in the loop.

Her idea was to replace our 6-drawer dresser (3 of which were mine) with this 2-drawer closet. Then she was going to have Darren move his shirts out of the hall closet (built in to the apartment) into this thing.


Let’s think for a moment:
1) SMART PEOPLE upgrade. Why go from 6 drawers down to 2 drawers?
2) Why purchase something only Darren could use?
3) Why inconvenience me, who if anything needs MORE space?
4) Why not ask for my opinion or AT LEAST keep me in the loop?
5) Why make this mistake AGAIN having done it 2 other times? Case in point: my computer desk and my storage closet went missing when I returned home from college.
6) Why start moving furniture around when I’m not here? Maybe I have some personal items I don’t want you going through in the process.
7) Why leave my shit out in the living room? Oh-you can’t find space for it now! STUPID ASS.
8) Why buy EXTRA furniture ON TOP OF DARREN’S NEW CLOSET to compensate for the lack of drawer space you rid us of?

This is the shit I have to put up with in this house. My mother is a selfish, inconsiderate, thoughtless idiot—and I mean that. She only cares about Darren and herself.

This is what I’m talking about with her— I’m angry, hurt, frustrated, and overwhelmed. I’m stressed out from work, my friends, and my fucking classes, so when she can treat me like a human being, then maybe I’ll talk to her.

Considering that’s the tip of the iceberg, THAT’S why I say she’s a fuckin’ fake bitch—cutesy-cuesty to the outside world—a selfish bitch behind closed doors. She means well, but does damage in the process, but doesn’t LISTENNNN or change when I tell her what she’s doing.

Where does my dad come in to this equation? He doesn’t know what the fuck is going… and well, I can’t blame my brother either because he’s always her first priority!

Weird Things

What is it with this month? It’s been a week of the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The Good:
1. I saw a meteor driving back from Tori’s house this past weekend.
2. Today was the first time I saw a full rainbow during an odd sun-shower.

The Bad
1. I lost my fucking cell phone, which seems to have disappeared into thin air. When I retraced my steps, it was nowhere to be found. NOW I have to get a new GODDAMN NUMBER and a new phone.
2. I hate my grad school class. The bitch I’m working with on the final project has no concept of OVERKILL, shutting the fuck up, and hygiene.

The Ugly
1. This fucking ass-faced bitch that rains on my parade and ruins my job experience on a daily basis: she’s just fuckin’ ugly.
2. As tiny as my room ALREADY IS, my mother’s stupid ass refuses to keep me in the loop with the large pieces of furniture she insists on packing in this room. Of course it’s always for her BABY-her youngest son that does nothing with his life. I need to move out.

Mike Frank (1982-2005)

Mike Frank (1982-2005)
Mike, thanks for all the good times. You’ve truly been a good buddy to Brad as well as myself. I really hope you know how much you’ve meant to those of us who are still living. See you on the other side, brotha. Rest in peace.

This BITCH Just Takes the CAKE and the Goddamn Candles!

This is how much of a fucking BITCH my boss is. My great aunt passed away on Thursday (no biggie) and the funeral service was scheduled for today. I wrote the entire department a courtesy e-mail to let them know that I was going to be absent for part of Monday and that I would be in as soon as possible.

(Why I didn’t just take the DAMN day off to begin with is BEYOND ME.)

Then again, considering how much of a BITCH that cunt is, I knew I’d have to work because she most likely used my absence against me somewhere down the line. That’s just the game this BITCH plays…

ANYWAY, not only did she NOT respond to my e-mail or express any condolences, but this BITCH left me a voice mail asking me to do WORK. Still no concern or remorse, in FACT, her message sounded like she thought I was there. WELL? I WASN’T!

Later, I found out from a coworker of mine that she had FORGOTTEN about what I CLEARLY indicated in my e-mail. I know she got it because she acknowledged her shitty memory. So this BITCH, DISREGARDED my e-mail, failed to express any condolences, and failed to realize that I was absent this morning… … …WHAT A STUPID FUCKING BITCH!

Then she tried to play if off later on like she didn’t forget. “Oh, I know you were out this morning and I didn’t realize it until after I left you the voice message.” Ummmm? YEAH you dumb BITCH!

Seriously, how rude, inconsiderate, and disGUSTING can you possible BE?

Lesson 2: Don’t Listen to Drunk People

I woke up this morning with a pounding headache. The sad part is I DIDN’T even drink last night! How pitiful is that? No… REALLY?

Earlier that day, I grabbed Chris Agro to keep me company while I cleaned my car’s interior. I KNEW he would ask me to go to the bar with him later that night, so I talked myself into going JUST because I’m a NICE GUY like that.

NOW HIRING: FULL-TIME WINGMAN/COACH/DESIGNATED DRIVER

As his newly established wingman/coach/part-time designated driver, I helped the boy get dressed up and sexified for the ladies’ visual pleasure. Knowing he’ll probably read this (and per his request) HE LOOKED SEXY AS ALL HELL! Yep, he turned a few heads and I’ll take SOME credit for THAT! :)

ANYWAY, Wellerson met up with us later on around 11:30, also in the same “I’m horny and need-ah girlfriend” predicament. Unfortunately, I do not have a Bachelor’s Degree in Bar Wingman. I can only work my magic in dance clubs (ask Tori and Brad-they seen it).

We hung out at Black Bear while Chris tried to mack it to Brad’s ex. Since he was getting nowhere and Wellerson and I were getting bored, we made plans to go to a Spanish club in New Rochelle.

THE BRAZILIAN THAT WOULDN'T DANCE

The nice guy that Wellerson is paid for our cover charges! THANKS W! Anyways, so the DJ was spinning hip hop and trance (my kind of stuff), but W PUSSED OUT and wouldn’t go on the dance floor! I was like WTF? I wasn’t about to go by myself, so we just hung out in the back watching. I finally got Agro to go, but as we were walking to the dance floor, the music switched over to Spanish music, and I can't dance to that so my ass turned right around.

The three of us losers decided to bounce and make a quick stop at McDonalds for a… 3am snack! Agro was making NO sense and talking shit (the belligerent drunk that he was), and got us lost for about 30 minutes while he told me to take the WRONG EXIT going back to White Plains!

Lost in the middle of Harrison, Rye and GOD KNOWS where else, I finally found my way back to where I needed to be--THANK GOD.

All said and done, it was a fun night, but the one lesson I learned is to NEVER EVER listen to drunk people and for some reason, Brazilian guys WON'T DANCE! ;)

Drunken Nights in Astoria

Driving down to Astoria, New York: easy. Supervising 3 drunks: one HELL OF A RIDE!

I arrived at about noon. (Mike) McWilliams, his girlfriend Danielle, and (Chris) Connelly’s roommate (Andy) McNutt, had already trashed their livers the night before. McNutt was out somewhere and Connelly woke himself up out of a drunken sleep to let me in. I creeped in to see McWilliams [still passed out] spooning his girlfriend. I didn’t know they made couches that big… *ahem*

We took the train down to Central Park later that day and walked around. Everybody must have had the same idea ‘cuz Central Park was pretty busy! Acting like a kid in a candy store, McWilliams provided for a few laughs with his amazement of all the sights of the city. Silly Jersey boy ;)

Crowds circled around the various street-performers doing their thing, but the trophy goes to the hilarious and quirky Mario, who provided for some great entertainment with his torch juggling, unicycle riding, and audience-teasing routine.

Our night began with the bloody and brutal “Ultimate Fighter Champion” marathon on SpikeTV; McNutt never failing to enlighten us with his knowledge of the martial arts. Danielle left to meet up with some friends.

By the time we went downtown, Connelly had already managed to piss off 1 angry black man by taking his photo on the train by accident. I wasn’t about to get caught up in that mess so I turned the other way!

How many times did Connelly and McWilliams stop to pee in the middle of the street? Hmm…

Our plan to create a celebrity buzz failed. Apparently, Connelly looks like an actor on that show “Joey,” but nobody believed our lies that he was on the show. To make matters even worse, the poor guy must have gotten shut down [by girls] more than this very computer.

I had ONE vodka and cranberry and was near death by 1:30am. Ok, not really… but I WAS a mess. McWilliams passed out almost immediately after we hit the second bar and wouldn’t wake up. McNutt was taking numbers left and right—of course to drunk to properly save them in his cell phone. As for Connelly, well… let’s just say the girls weren’t feeling the burly white man that night… He allegedly got slapped by one, but the reason remains a mystery.

We bounced at about 3am, dragged McWilliams’ drunken ass out of the bar and then took a taxi back to Astoria. Semi-bad idea…

McWilliams [now in a coma], couldn’t remember a damn thing after we entered the second bar so he HAS no story (other than trying to open the taxi’s door as we were still driving). As for Connelly, well, let’s just say the wild and crazy death threats he was making to the cab driver he called “Larry” were quite hilarious. Not to mention, spitting on the cars of random drivers and calling them bitches as they passed by were out of character, but YES he DID THAT TOO!

I don’t know what the hell McNutt was doing, but he was having a deep conversation with the cabbie the ENTIRE time. Thankfully so or the cabbie would have heard “Larry, I’m going to cut your DICK OFF!” coming from the back seat at least 3 times. Not by me!

$22.50 later, we FINALLY reached our stop. I was pretty sober by that time; enough so that I could stop Connelly from breaking the cab window because it wouldn’t go up all the way. 8ROID RAGE!* To top the night off, I think he peed on row of 3 cars while walking back to his apartment. So much urine; so little time.

The next day was short. I ducked out to visit a former employee and friend from Manhattanville. Later on, Connelly took us to his workplace and showed us around. McWilliams struggled to finish his senior art exhibit, which he completed in time for us to run to Staples and have his images printed. A sad moment: we eventually left Connelly to do his work and took the train back…

Not too long after, McWilliams and I packed up to leave and that was a wrap on the weekend. I think he got lost. :)