Chapter 1.4: I Don't Know About This

I find myself bored about 65% of the time, which isn't a big issue in the grand scheme of things. However, I'd rather be productive than unproductive. While it's nice to FINALLY have calm nerves and normal blood pressure, I fear that the gaps of time between projects could be unfairly used against me as it was at Manhattanville.

Maybe it isn't so. My seemingly empty days very well may be normal. The time of year could be a factor, or maybe I'm just so used to rushing through every single project, that by Connecticut College's standards, I now work too fast for my own good. I probably shouldn't worry about it for now.

A bigger issue, already in the process of being resolved, is the organization of photography and other electronic files. Of course, nothing is centralized or easily accessible because files are randomly scattered among the shared network server and people's computers. It's very frustrating to those of us who are new and have to ask someone just for a photo, versus looking ourselves.

Part of the reason why I was hired was for my expertise in organizing electronic files and photography, but I'm sensing some resistance to my suggestions; not because my methods are ineffective or illogical, but I think there is a matter of breaking old habits and forming new ones.

I can already see a problem forming with the photography situation. I'm already seen as the "staff photographer," because of my outside interest in photography, even though it is not a primary component of my job (as it was originally discussed). While I like taking pictures very much, my concern is that the photography requests will grow so many, that I won't be able to do the main core of my job.

The person who photographed a lot of things for the college was recently terminated, and I seem to be the next-in-line photographer by default. I normally don't have a problem photographing things that are for publication that I or other designers are working on, but that raises another issue in determining what should be shot professionally and what I can handle. I am not a pro by any means, and I shouldn't be expected to take professional shots on a whim, especially when the "just to have" or "for the web" lines are crossed.

What is also frustrating to me is what I'm asked to photograph is not what I normally do. I made it clear in my interview that, while my work is very amateur, my specialty is NOT event photography or big, elaborate photo shoots. Granted, I welcome the experience, however, I do not have professional equipment to use, which led to my first mistake of bringing in my own camera.

I'm sure by bringing it in, I've only worsened my situation, but you know what? I'm not doing that anymore. I should have learned from Manhattanville NOT to do that, but in my own defense, the office's camera is one of the worst cameras I've ever seen and it's not a professional camera by any means.

Most of the photography requests come from the web content editor, who has been getting on my Goddamn nerves lately. I'm going to digress for a second here, but I feel like she uses her unofficial title as the "Building Environmental Rep" to start trouble—specifically with me.

Minding my own business, as I usually do, this bitch comes over to me and gives me a lecture about how incandescent light bulbs burn a lot of energy and instead, I should open the blinds; never mind the fact that it gets dark around 5 o'fucking clock.

A couple of weeks later, she started with me about the scanner and printer being left on while not in use. Next, it was the intern's computer and most recently, my little space heater. For Christ's sake bitch, not only is it November, but some moron in the office had the air conditioner running full blast when it was like 35 degrees outside. Yet, who had to hear about lack of energy conservation? ME!

I might be from New York, but I do care about the earth and DO my part in protecting it, but Jesus Christ lady, get off my fucking balls, will you? What pisses me off is how she does not go to the other designer in the office and say anything to him--just me. Clearly this bitch doesn't know who I am yet.

The extents of my issues don’t go far past the potential issue with the photography situation and this loon getting on my nerves—so far. There are a few top/down management habits that need to be addressed and I will write about them later as well as my leftover psychological issues from Manfuckenville (...more to come).

Chapter 1.3: Pink Butterflies

The job is going very well. My official title is "print/web designer," and while the parameters of what I'll be doing are still unclear, I'll mostly be producing materials for the admissions department. There is another designer, who is focused more on alumni and advancement communications. He started two weeks after I did.

During my first few days, I designed a program for the president's inauguration, which was nice because it gave me the chance to prove myself early.

Connecticut College's "college relations" department, as they call it, has a very different atmosphere in many different ways. To this day, I still feel like a fish out of water--I'm not quite overwhelmed, but still not quite in sync yet. It may take a good 6 months before I feel 100% comfortable.

There are new technological advantages and disadvantages to learn, as well as procedures, techniques and marketing issues to conquer. One of my biggest hurdles will be to get things organized. I'm a very systematic and logical thinker, therefore my environment has to be asl well... and it's going to take some work.

Once again, the person who had the position before more was organized, but in a very over-the-top kind of way. I don't like to keep a lot of things around, but she did and a lot of the mess sits in the new Mac G5 I've been using--or whatever the hell it is.

It's equipped with a widescreen monitor that is at least 20 inches wide and has a lot of software for me to play with. In comparison to the last trainwreck I was in, there are a lot more resources to take advantage of, but they all have their drawbacks. The office's digital camera, for one, is not an SLR and is extremely difficult to use. However, at least one is provided to us.

I couldn't ask for better bosses. They are funny, patient and informative (if and when I have a question), and they are very good at what they do. My officemate is very cool and produces very impressive work.

The working environment is a complete 180 from what I was I was put through before... and I'm still not used to it. There are no clashes of ego, finger pointing or irrational thinking. The department's employees think critically, strategically and efficiently and it is very relieving to watch.

There doesn't appear to be any catfights, backstabbing or malicious blame games. Instead, people work as a "team" to reach the common mission of the College.

What excites me is that I am not the only one designing every single publication for the entire college, and then accused of not working hard enough. There are two additional designers aside from myself AND several people who are not designers, but still know and use graphic design programs such as InDesign.

I have a great view from my office of the Thames River and very complimentary coworkers and clients. My student workers are awesome and very bright individuals, the campus is absolutely gorgeous and for the love of God, they have racquetball courts! There are so many places--on campus--to see, such as the vast lands of the Arboretum, a giganic wildlife preserve, that it is almost overwhelming. 750 acres is a LOT to soak in!

I almost feel like I've woken up from a really bad nightmare. However, it's not all pink butterflies and purple bunnies! While it's definitely a positive change, there are several things that could potentially be a problem and I'm sure you're anxious to know what sucks about the place.

So, in the next post, I will tell you (...more to come).

Chapter 1.2: Sick

I am so behind with this, but I'm going to do my best to catch up while I have time over the holiday break. Happy Thanksgiving by the way!
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Around the beginning of the summer, I was already sick and tired of White Plains. I guess things get old after living here somewhere for over 20 years, but it was a little more than that. New York's typical "save your own ass" mentality was starting to irritate me and White Plains' nightlife just wasn't exciting--it never has.

Every bar is the same, night after night and week after week. My days of pushing through herds of narcissistic Gotti-wannabe impersonators from Long Island and seeing old overweight classmates from high school wasn't my idea of fun. To top it all off, my local friends weren't interested in anything else besides the bar, and with time, they become rather monotonous too.

My social life had reached an all-time low and living at home became stifling. Even though I had awesome [now former] coworkers whom I'd hang out with occassionally, it just wasn't enough.

Now that I have moved out of White Plains, I feel free--like I'm finally living life. New London has new things for me to try, which I'm very excited about. There are many beaches, parks, docks, piers and restaurants close by. Plus, there is a ferry that travels to Long Island and I'm not that far away from Mohegan Sun.

As uninspired and unmotivated as I was in White Plains, I think New London will provide an environment where I can get back into the arts and start drawing, painting and taking pictures again.

THE APARTMENT
After I got the job offer, which I accepted without hesitation, I ended up having to get my own place in New London. The original plan was to move to Groton, CT and move in with Tori, but things changed at the last second and I had no choice but to get my own place. I was lucky to find something so fast.

The 1-bedroom apartment I selected was the best I saw out of the several places I visited. It's really amazing what people will try to sell you for the price they try to sell it to you. Of course, my parents had their mind set on the first place we saw, but it was so gross, dark and prison-like, there was no way in HELL I would settle for that. The second place we visited is what I decided to choose and despite it being the best, it took me a good month before I started to like it.

It seemed like one thing was going wrong after the next: faulty mailbox key, overly creaky floors, noisy nearby road, broken call box, hard water, unattentive leasing office, non-English speaking maintenance workers and a fucking noisy-as-hell heat pump. To make matters worse, I had no furniture, no friends (other than Tori), bare walls and more stuff than I knew what to do with. The last week of September was extremely stressful, confusing and frustrating, but I have since grown to like my apartment very much.

It took time, but a lot of my "new resident" troubles were resolved. I either got used to my issues or found a way to deal with them.

Of course, the first thing people ask me is if I get lonely living by myself. The answer right now, is no. It's nice coming home after work and not having anybody in my face asking me stupid questions and annoying me or having my brother's fucking cellphone ring at 4 o'clock in the Goddamn morning. I clean up after myself. I can use the bathroom when I want. I can find stuff when I need it. Things are clean, organized and arranged nicely--I must say!

Haha, I've always wanted to be my own boss... and that brings me to my next topic: the job! (...more to come).

Chapter 1.1: The Light

The sweet satisfaction of telling Manhattanville’s upper management that I will no longer be there for them to abuse was pure bliss.

They had hired a new director for my department—a male this time—with the idea that he would be lateral with my coworker and I. Our department would exist with out a rigid “boss” per say and the public relations component would no longer reside in marketing and communications.

Once again, that wasn’t the plan. They neglected to split the job (yet again) into two positions and the interview process was just as rushed and asinine as the last. While the department was already destined for trouble, additional things began to surface after the new director of publications started his position.

We didn’t think he was right for the job, but he was the best out of the two candidates that the president chose for the position. He, at least, had decent ideas... But it wasn’t until a few weeks later where he began admitting that he couldn’t use basic computer software. Word, Excel and even e-mail were all foreign things to him—let alone knowing how to access them.

And it got even better. “Well, I’ve always had other people doing these things for me,” he’d confess in a closed office. With my sharpened acting skills, I played along and gave him his sympathy, but that was the turning point where I knew I had to get out of Manhattanville and FAST.

The president was on my ass daily for his fabricated perception of my lack of project management, the VP of Development was pissing me off with her spinning web of lies and bullshit and I had just about enough of this new “director” who didn’t know a goddamn thing.

By higher acts of God, I had a job offer waiting for me on a Friday, but I waited until Monday before I quit. It would be two weeks since my former new boss had started and he barely had a grasp on reality. He sure wasn’t happy when I broke the news. No one was, but I didn’t care.

I was sick of it; sick of the poor management, sick of the shitty pay, sick of the hours and sick of the stress. I was sick of White Plains, sick of New York and sick of living at home. It was time that I made some big changes.

Having already distanced myself from some childhood friends, I packed all my shit up and left White Plains for New London, and I don’t think I’ve looked back once.

Thank God. I FINALLY had the chance to start my life OVER… (more to come).