Chapter 1.6: Conclusion

I have come to the conclusion today that I don’t really like my new job. This could be due to the horrible week I had, being sick, or maybe I had higher expectations than what is being met. I might even be a little over-critical... I don’t even know. My concerns and arguments may not even be valid.

First of all, most of my days are spent staring at the screen with nothing to do. They rushed me in here, but there isn’t that much work… or at least no one is managing/distributing the workflow effectively. Whatever though, if they want to pay me thousands of dollars just to sit there, I will. However, I’d rather have something to do than sit there like a sack of a shit.

People keep piling on the photography requests and I can barely stay on top of them. I almost packed my shit up and went home when the flash on the [shitty] office camera stopped working. What pissed me off is how I am expected to be this “staff photographer,” but I don’t have professional equipment to use… I should get over it, because they DID allow me to order a new camera yesterday…

But, I just really hate how people assume I am the “staff photographer.” Someone had the fucking NERVE to request I come back to work at 8pm and shoot a music ensemble. I’m going to tell you this right now; I’m not going to be working no 9, 10, 11 hour days every fucking day. Been there, done that and I’m just not going to do it.

I made it clear in my interview that I am not a professional photographer nor should I be seen as one. Somehow, through the lines of communication, it was determined that I am a professional photographer, who can and will shoot anything and everything. I feel like I made it clear what my capabilities, passions and skills are, but they were ignored.

85% of the requests are frivolous and do not need to be professionally taken, but people sure make it known how relieved they are that “someone else in the department can take photos…” That statement to me, is a sign of laziness.

Aside from this photography debacle, I feel like I am being asked to do things beyond what I interviewed for. I was put under the impression that our projects would be team-driven, but what actually happens in reality is that I’m stuck handling a majority of the pictorial and visual components—start to finish.

For example, I will be designing a 28 page publication over the next few weeks, which I was very excited about. However, I was stuck organizing, handling and managing the photography for it.

I’ve never organized an elaborate photo shoot or escorted a photographer before and I didn’t know what to do. I liked the fact that it was a new experience to have, but I didn’t like the abandonment. Since I am new to the college, I don’t know any students or faculty yet. I don’t know the buildings and where everything is yet. I don’t know what best sells the college. Yet, I was left to figure all that out on my own; struggling to find students and faculty to photograph during the two shittiest days of the year, and I don’t think that was fair one bit.

Today, I was asked to start thinking about including a visual to describe the area downtown for this same publication… something like a “whimsical tourist map” perhaps in a “cartoon format.” Ok, since when do I design maps? How do I design a map? Do I have TIME to design a map? What locations do I put in? What kind of a fucking map are you TALKING about?? These are things I don’t know, people. I haven’t lived here for 20 years and I don’t know everywhere the students go! How am I supposed to create something when I don’t know?

That is the shit that pisses me off. If you don’t tell me, then I don’t know!

I don't know what my problem is. I feel like I'm more of a designer's assistant that a mid-level manager right now. I think that's what it is...

Maybe I'm just complaining too much...